Out of my Control

I’ve been in a funk lately. . . . .

- work has been stressful (and I am having a hard time finding the physical and mental energy to teach each day),

- I am dreading the onset of winter,

- the days are getting noticeably shorter,

- I want to move out of state,

- I hardly feel like I any extra time in my day,

- and I just feel blah!


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I wish there was something I could do about it, but many of these things are out of my control. . . .

- it is only October and I still have a long ways to go until the end of the school year,

- I cannot change the season or the amount of daylight we have,

- it isn’t like I can move right now,

- I am trying very hard to give myself some “me” time in the evening,

- but I still just feel like I am going through the motions and am numb more or less of the time.


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I know I should tell myself to suck it up and make the best of it, but honestly I’ve been doing that for so long, I’m exhausted. I am just ready to give up!

These are the things I have tried to do to lighten the stress load:

- run with a friend a few times a week,

- take high levels of Vitamin D (although I honestly do not feel like it is helping),

- make a point to keep up with my running and healthy eating regime (I know I would be worse off without them.),

- and vent to Craig (but try not to take my frustrations out on him).


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I don’t write these things to have you take pity on me but to rather simply be real with y’all. I want to share the highs and lows and not make it seem like life is fine and dandy all the time.

I know we all have our stressors in life, and my stressors may be minor compared to someone else’s, but they still weigh heavy on my shoulders. :(

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So let’s move on to something else before this entire post becomes an entire “debbie downer” post.

This morning, I got up and ran 6 miles at an easy 9 minutes/mile pace.


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I’ve said before that this is a slower pace than what I thought I was running.

But this morning I couldn’t help but wonder if my pace would be faster if I could wait a couple of hours before heading out for my run in the morning. Then maybe my legs would have a chance to wake up a bit and the blood would start flowing a little more. I guess I’ll just have to wait until the summer to test that theory I guess.

I’m off to go on a walk with Craig while it is still light out.

Good night!